Why? Why is that I am most inspired at 1:30 in the morning when I'm trying to sleep?
Oh, well. Here's tonight's installment of insanity:
Ardith's History of the Future: A Timeline of the Next 50 Years
This work is a result of vast amounts of research, from the far corners of the galaxy. A few alternate universes were also consulted.
2010: Bill Gates invests $20 billion in interstellar space travel research. The Let's Not Bother The Aliens Organization (LNBTAO) starts riots in large population centers. Violence ensues.
2020: The first ships reach Alpha Centauri. A planet is found there, with a strange computerized artifact which bears the name "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" and the words "Do Not Panic" in large letters on its cover. Upon reaching Earth, the artifact self-destructs. A small puppy is determined to have suffered emotional distress as a result.
2030: Large black monoliths appear from nowhere, reproduce themselves over the surface of Jupiter, and ignite it into a mini-sun which is promptly given the name Lucifer. Unfortunately, they are twenty years late and nobody cares.
2040: Intelligent robots are invented. Due to pay cuts, somebody forgets to invent the First Law of Robotics. The robots take over the Earth. Everyone moves to the planet circling Alpha Centauri.
2050: Strange energy beings called the Drej come and blow up Earth for being too technologically advanced. However, they are 978 years too early, and in the wrong parallel universe to boot. They blow up all the robots. Humanity rejoices.
And there you have it, the next 50 years in a nutshell. Looks to be an exciting half-century.
Posted by Ardith at June 8, 2004 01:55 AM | TrackBack