"There is both incompetence and possible corruption in immigration services. As a Republican, I was upset."
--Congressman Louie Gohmert, discussing immigration, at an event hosted by the CDCL at LETU
"You're so confirming, Randy. You are the most normal person on campus."
--A person who shall remain anonymous unless he or she decides to reveal himself or herself
Wherever the standard of freedom and independence has been or shall be unfurled, there will [the United States'] heart, her benedictions, and her prayers be. But she goes not abroad in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She is the champion and vindicator only of her own. . . . She well knows that by once enlisting under other banners than her own, were they even the banners of foreign independence, she would involve herself beyond the power of extrication, in all the wars of interest and intrigue, of individual avarice, envy, and ambition, which assume the colors and usurp the standard of freedom. The fundamental maxims of her policy would insensibly change from liberty to force. . . . She might become the dictatress of the world. She would no longer be the ruler of her own spirit.--John Quincy Adams, the USA's "greatest secretary of state" according to my American Foreign Policy textbook
I would say that Wheeler is far too innocent for this kind of Freudian slip, but who would I be kidding?
Me: And there is a slightly heavy feeling in the air about O'Connor's possible replacement
Wheeler: I'll bed
Me: will you now?
Wheeler: oops
Wheeler: *laughs*
Wheeler: NO! I WILL NOT!
Wheeler: You're gonna want to blog that . . .
Here are a few reactions to the election (and the results) that I find particularly amusing.
All quotes were found from metaquotes.
Some have language that may be offensive.
"Well, at least if the endtimes are coming, all those damned annoying christian fundamentalists will go away in the rapture and leave us the fuck alone already."
-------
"are there fires and looting yet?
I have smores.
yep.
yummy goodness."
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"I for one welcome the return of our tyrannical neoconservative overlords and pray they lead us to righteous victory against gays, the french, stem cell research, abortion and the environment. Amen."
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"Kerry: I could be president tomorrow!
Bush: I like shiney things.
Kerry: Well, not tomorrow, but you know, tomorrow they'll be deciding it.
Bush: And swords. I like swords.
Kerry: But then in January, I could be President!
Bush: Swords swords swords. They're shiney too."
-------
"[...] I started getting a really bad feeling about voting for Kerry, but I figured I'd probably regret it if I voted for Bush, so I went with Kerry anyways. After Kerry swears in, his eyes will glow red and his face will fall off and there will be tentacles everywhere, and that will be that. Ah well. That's democracy."
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"Dear United States of America,
You've more than made your point. Please elect a real president this time.
In exchange, we promise to be less uppity. Also, we'll send down some pot.
Our love to Hillary,
Canada"
"I'm going to make this whole thing with pink champagne."
--Tanaka (floormate)
I swear, what are they teaching these engineering students these days?
Only Dr. Varnell could provide me with even better quotes on the same day:
"God doesn't laugh at my programming...too much."
"Now, programming is not like dating."
Those two were said minutes apart from each other on unrelated subjects, but I wonder if they are connected...
"People who would never throw litter from their car will drive past you with their radio blaring. People who'd never blow cigar smoke at you in a crowded restaurant will bellow into their cell phone. They'll shout at each other across the space of a dinner plate.
These people who would never spray herbicides or insectisides will fog the neighborhood with their stereo playing Scottish bagpipe music. Chinese Opera. Country and western.
Outdoors, a bird singing is fine. Patsy Cline is not.
Outdoors, the din of traffic is bad enough. Adding Chopin's Piano Concerto in E Minor is not making the situation any better.
You turn up your music to hide the noise. Other people turn up their music to hide yours. You turn up yours again. Everyone buys a bigger stereo system. This is the arms race of sound. You don't win with a lot of treble.
This isn't about quality. It's about volume.
This isn't about music. This is about winning.
You stomp the competition with the bass line. You rattle windows. You drop the melody line and shout the lyrics. You put in foul language and come down hard on each cussword.
You dominate. This is really about power."
--Lullaby, by Chuck Palahniuk
Palahniuk has so many incredible quotes in his novels. I'm eventually going to go back through them with a highlighter in search of the best ones.
"It is better to not have any errors or warnings [in your program] than to have them."
--Dr. Craig Varnell
I'm glad that you cleared that up for me. If what you say is true then this next program should be remarkably easy. I'll just write it without any errors.
I think I should pass on this knowledge to my roommate. I'm sure it will make his CS classes much easier.
"I'll never be able to buy a Japanese vehicle. I would have already bought me one of those Toyota pick-ups if it hadn't been for Pearl Harbor. I just can't forget that."
--My grandfather
Thus began my hour spent dining with my mother's parents. Throw in a few more remarks like that one, additional "er" sounds in every other word ("How're ya d-er-ing?"), and a steak from Outback and you have pretty much got the gist of the entire event.
"You see, God didn't create money. Man did. It's ok to abuse it."
--Nathan (Former roommate, current suitemate)
As you read the following, please remember that I did not see all of the Super Bowl. I missed the entire third quarter (as well as the half time show) and I did homework while the rest of the game was playing. Enjoy.
Overheard quotes from Super Bowl commentators:
"This is a guy that nobody knows nothing about."
"He is the type of player who always wants positive yards."
"These coaches should have come and asked me...I might eat these words later, but I doubt it."
" 'I sure as heck didn't go over everything, because if you go over everything you confuse the defensive players.' " -- quoting a defensive coordinator
"I'm not gonna overstate this, but that's big stuff."
"A touchdown is huge."
"He went to [college] as just an athelete, not even knowing what position he was going to play."
Motto of the Carolina Panthers according to a reporter interviewing the coach:
"Run the ball, and stop the run."
Quote of the day:
"I've had to give up everything else. Rock music has gotten too loud. Sex only brings more kids, and I already have three. Caffeine is all I have left."
--Anatomy and Physiology II student (I can't remember her name, but she techincally graduated last semester)
"You haven't really lived...until you go downstairs for a fresh box of ballpoint pens and find a jar of formaldehyde with an owl-eye in it sitting on top of the Xerox machine. Man, that wakes you up."
--Matt Babicki
From a Buick 8 by Stephen King
I have been sharing a large number of quotes lately. I guess I have just been hearing so many good ones lately.
Anyway, this is from George's narration in the one and only Dead Like Me:
"I wasn't mad. I was proud. I had taught her, like me, not to care. I could be a role model."
The following quote is from Fred Reed's Fred on Everything. I enjoyed it so much I thought I would share it with all of you.
"I'm gonna break something. It's going to happen. Anything could trigger it. A neutered hamster of a high-school principal is going to complain about the violence inherent in freeze-tag. Or some baffled ditz-bunny in a university will whinny about how Frosty the Snowman symbolizes white patriarchal phallocentric linearity. I'm going to pop, and suffer an access of superhuman strength, and pick up a backhoe, and smack'em into gruel.
And then put on waders and dance in it.
And whoop."
Does that remind anyone of a certain Black Mage?