Before reading this, I would have you note that this is probably the rough draft and there are some places where it needs help and a lot of linking action. That said, feel free to comment on things that you feel I've left out... and I'll probably toss them in there. In fact, I encourage criticism, nit-picking and error-hunting.
2003: A year in review from the perspective of The Vengeful Cynic
January 2003
This month sees the return of the Cynic and all other good LU students to campus for the Spring Semester.
Cynic skips chapel.
During Missions Emphasis Week, the Cynic runs across a contingent of people from Quad 3... and takes a liking to them.
Cynic and Shem spend a lot of time talking down at Q3.
The Cynic starts blogging.
Cynic and Wilson are enrolled in Historiography together... this is a very bad idea but nobody knows it yet.
The Cynic gets access to the electronic bulletin board associated with Contemporary Political Issues and starts assembling the framework to build a
gallows to hang himself.
The Cynic vents... a lot
C-4 informs the Cynic that the age of consent in OK is 16.
February 2003
Space Shuttle Columbia burns up on re-entry over Texas; Cynic's father calls at 8am to ask questions and continues to call every half hour until phone is taken off the hook at 11am.
Cynic skips more chapel.
Cynic pulls an all-nighter down at Quad 3 with female involved... damned shame I could never get the luck to do that sort of thing with SC people.
C-4 reminds the Cynic about the age of consent in OK.
The infamous "satire" post of the Cynic goes up on the Contemporary Political Issues forum; Cynic is nearly lynched by frenzied wenches.
Frenzied wenches calm down and propose truce. This truce is the beginning of very good friendships.
The term "Happy People" comes into existance and the war against them in its current form begins.
The Cynic gets sick.
Cowboy starts blogging.
Brenton is "asked" to take down his confederate flag.
Ardith starts blogging.
March 2003
Manly Month of March.
Anna starts blogging.
Cynic drops Circuits 2; changes majors from CSE to CS and thus gains modicum of sanity.
C-4 again tells us all about the age of consent in OK.
Cynic skips chapel, yet again.
Spring break comes; Cynic's parents come down to visit and everyone else skips town.
Cynic rides with Jenny, ELH-2 girls up to Paris, TX in order to accompany Jenny back to Longview.
Parents leave town; Cynic spends week having a blast on virtually-vacant floor.
New LU Forum starts up.
Judge is stolen by ELH2 wenches; recovered.
Stitch is stolen by Bandits; held for a week.
April 2003
Cynic discovers Something Positive!
Cynic skips more chapel due to this discovery.
Bandits clean house in LSM Pie Auction to send money to LU summer missions.
Admissions Nazis kick Cynic out of his own table at Saga.
Wilson discovers 10 minute rule printed in Faculty/Staff Handbook.
Cowboy decides he's not coming back to LU.
Cynic (and rest of America) submits taxes.
International SARS outbreak hits national news.
Randy's sister dies in a horrible accident; Randy starts blogging.
Cynic, Gecko, Dunny, Anna decide to stay on campus for the summer... Stan and Caleb stick around for a while.
Spring Semester ends with finals.
Cynic does lots chapel make-ups due to all of that skipping; vows to skip less chapel.
May 2003
Cynic moves to the John Thomas Hall for summer residency; decides it sucks.
Gecko wanders Texas; gets corrective eye surgery.
Fire alarms in John Thomas Hall go off... a lot.
Stan leaves to go home.
Cynic starts going to St. Mike's.
Wilson starts blogging.
Moore starts blogging.
Tom Elliot vists East Texas for Jordan Groody's wedding.
Matrix Reloaded comes out; fails to live up to expectations.
Cynic declares war on NOW.
Gadzooks decides to go to an all-female store with a horrid ad campaign.
Cynic starts working at Physical Plant; discovers a whole new definition of slacking.
Cynic gets sick of school; skips town to see little brother graduate.
Anna starts taking a programming class; Cynic starts helping.
June 2003
Cynic returns to school; realizes how much working for Phys. Plant sucks.
Ardith tries to recruit thugs to mess with Cynic; fails miserably.
Fire alarm in John goes off more.
Cynic, Gecko, Anna start visiting "high places" on campus.
Cynic starts playing on Gaia; flaming morons.
Cynic, Dunny, Gecko move to apartments; get out of shitty dorm with much effort.
Cynic upgrades computer.
Cynic catches knife in the back from Anna and Gecko.
Linear Algebra finishes.
Wilson skips the country.
Cynic helps Anna with more programs.
Cynic, Anna, summer residents go to Texas Rangers game; have much fun.
Anna throws up on Cynic.
July 2003
Dunny's car is broken into.
Cynic gets a tetanus shot; doesn't die.
Cynic takes up Wench Management Consulting.
Cynic picks up a wench of his own.
Cynic goes home for two weeks to placate parents.
Cynic and crew play demolition at Perkins
NFL fines Detroit Lions for not interviewing minority coach in hiring process.
Jenny came to visit Cynic in Ohio; they travel the city, loot and pillage.
August 2003
Julie starts commenting on my blog
Crew nearly gets kicked out of Perkins.
Cynic moves back up to Tyler
Cynic gets hired at IT.
Cynic goes with Anna to Lake City to pick up car.
Stu gets fired from IMPACT.
3rd Annual Texas Bigfoot Conference is held.
Wilson returns to school; leaves; comes back again.
The SC is back at school.
The SC church-visitation squad starts up; visits Pine Crest.
Notorious "Demon Bird Sermon" is preached.
September 2003
Cynic and crew visit "El Cancun" get food poisoning; Wilson skips to go to Marketing dinner.
Infamous Yellow Jacket with no back page is printed.
Only Longview Symphony of the semester occurs.
Moore picks up a wench in a record low amount of time.
Wheeler starts blogging.
Wilson discovers Oral Roberts.
Moore contributes Markov Chain generator to cause; runs Leviticus through it.
October 2003
Cynic discovers repository of poison oak; has hives breakout on hands as a result
Martinez sends out more hillarious bible study emails.
Morgan and parents come into town; go to IHOP with the SC and crew.
Cynic and Anna stop church shopping; stay at Saint Mike's.
The Gallery starts causing trouble in their own right.
Cynic starts taking WMD donations.
Fall break happens; crew sticks in town and watches movies and plays board games.
Cynic drives to and from Dallas twice on the business of getting Toad to/from DFW airport.
Gallagher starts blogging.
Scott starts blogging.
Fall-fest week insanity begins.
November 2003
Fall-fest banquet happens; Cynic, Anna, Moore, Sharon all go.
Matrix: Revolutions shows, lives down to low expectations and exceeds them
My brother Geoff's good friend Jamie dies in horrible accident.
Thanksgiving comes; Cynic and Anna go to Dr. Olson's house
Cynic does next to nothing over Thanksgiving break
Master and Commander comes out and doesn't suck; balance is restored to the Force
December 2003
The Cynic has a birthday; is taken to dinner by the SC crew and has a blast.
Cynic buys new speakers with birthday money; the music lives again!
Hell week and finals week hit LeTourneau; many die.
The first semester ever where the Cynic is neither chapel deficient nor
doing make-ups ends; Cynic is proud.
Anna comes down with mono; goes home to Colorado.
Everyone leaves to go home; Cynic sadly drags himself home to Ohio.
Lord of the Rings: Return of the King hit theaters; Cynic
remembers why movie theaters in Cincinnati are so much better than those in
Longview.
Several days later, Ardith and Anna manage to see RotK near their respective podunk towns.
Christmas happens; people give gifts, are happy.
Cynic is sick.
Wheeler finally sees RotK; rest of SC mocks him.
Terror level is raised to Orange; promises to be a pain in the ass to all
travellers.
Cynic reads... a lot.
Cynic ends the year on the phone with Anna, and is generally pleased with how this year has gone