I've never been a person with a lot of faith. I guess it comes from the fact that I'm a very analytical, logical and straightforward person who has a hard time with what he can't see. Combine this with the fact that I am a cynic, any you come up with a real issue.
As much trouble as I have with general faith, it doesn't hold a candle to the problems I have in trusting in God's goodness. God works for our overall good... and that's fine, except that for all I know, that means another bullet in the ass tomorrow and the day after, and the day after, and so on. And when that bullet in the ass really takes the wind out of you, you have a hard time asking for God to bless you, knowing how well the last "blessing" went.
I guess, in the end it comes down to this: life sucks right now. And I keep praying that it'll get better sooner than later. But right now, it just keeps getting worse. And I guess I just have to have faith that in the end, this misery and despair won't break me. Let's hope that it doesn't...
Posted by Vengeful Cynic at December 30, 2003 02:01 AM