The saga of my brother continues, but right now it's moreso with him. Most of you are familiar with the fact that all of my compassion put together could fit in a small thimble. The pure reverse is true of my brother. He cares so much that sometimes it scares him that people might take advantage of him and to that end he has a the facade of a cactus. Underneath that cactus, however, is a man who would give the shirt off his back along with his pants to someone who needed them. He's cynical enough and perceptive enough to see through people... but when someone really needs help, my brother is the first person in there to give it.
I'm sure some of you are familiar with the concept of survivor guilt. Now take that, and imagine you could have made several dozen different choices in the hours leading up to a friend's death that might have avoided that death. In light of that, I can't even begin to understand what my brother, who would gladly have given himself in exchange for his friend, must be feeling at this point... and I know it must really suck.
That said, pray for my brother... he's in a really dark place and it's one of those wounds that only God and time can heal.
Posted by Vengeful Cynic at November 18, 2003 02:16 AM